The Only Exception
by flomarie
Summary: Fiesty Bella Swans new in town and is not looking for friends. what happens when she starts breaking her own rules and lets people in? what will happen to her when Edward comes along and refuses to be shut out? rated M.. you've been warned.
1. Pretty Decent

CH 1.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Ugh. 6 o'clock already. Fuck my life. I untangled myself from my way to comfortable covers and just about crawled my way into the shower. The hot water from the shower woke me up a little more. I definitely need to do something about my sleeping habits. There almost nonexistent. I get at most three hours of sleep a night four on a good night. I try not to sleep though because when I do I dream and that's something I try my hardest to stay away from lately. After the water started getting cold I got dressed for my first day of school. Most people would dress up but I'm not most people and I could care less what the fuckers at this new school thought about me. Especially not in this town I just moved to, Forks a little town in Washington with all of 3 people living in it. The chances of meeting anyone worth dressing up for here are so small I'd bet my left leg there's nobody interesting enough for me to impress here. Another downside of this town having so little people in it is that everyone and there mothers will know I'm new and want to know every little thing about me considering nothing important ever happens here. So I decided to wear a pair of skinny jeans a fitted gray sweat shirt and my red vans to match the hood of my sweatshirt. What? Just because I don't care doesn't me I don't match my shit.

After I blow-dried my hair straight I left my bangs out I put it into a ponytail. My grandmother took me out for a day of pampering the other day and I got a new hair cut. She thinks it looks to edgy with all the layers and me already having my lip pierced but its my style and I like it. Its not like I look like some freak its just cute to me. After getting ready I headed downstairs and decided on a pop tart for breakfast because lets get real, there the shit. Nobody but me was here so I locked all the doors back up and climbed into my baby after looking it over to make sure she was in the perfect condition she's always in. I cherished this car, I saved every penny I had to get it. it's a white 2004 Mitsubishi Lancer evolution 8 and she's the sexiest car ever. Sadly she's going to stand out like a sore thumb in this town.

I plugged my Ipod in and switched it to my Taking Back Sunday playlist turned it as loud as I could and started off to the school. Just when Cute Without and E starting playing I pulled into the lot and took a look around. Just as I thought my car was one of the few shiny looking cars. I was probably a little early since there weren't many cars here yet so I decided to park in the back corner of the lot and listen to the rest of the song. I didn't really want to do much thinking about the day ahead of me so I just closed my eyes and got lost in the music if only for a little while. When the song ended I decided I couldn't put off the inevitable any longer so I grabbed my bag and got out.

Shit. Of course everyone was looking at me. Great. Whatever its not like I've never had to put up with it before I slung my bag over my shoulders and started walking. That is until some asshole decides to whip into the spot next to me and just about run my feet over. If he wasn't such a dick I'd be drooling over his car right now. A fucking midnight blue Aston Martin Vanquish , well at least my car isn't the only nice thing in the lot anymore. So after I picked my jaw up off the ground from this ridiculously sexy car I started walking towards the school building. Then I remembered my Ipod was still in the car so I went back to go get it. I was just closing my door when I heard a low whistle coming from the car next to me. I turned around to tell whoever it was being an ass off and almost fell on the ground from the shock. _Who is that!_

Whoa. I don't think I've ever seen a guy that… that pretty?… No that didn't even begin to cover this dude. He was fucking gorgeous. He had a nice build not to big but definitely not scrawny, his hair was the weirdest shade of color I've ever seen. It was almost like coppery bronzish if that's even possible. And it looked like he just came from having a wild night in the sack standing out in all different ways. But the best part was his face! He had the greenest eyes I've ever seen and they were so intense and deep I felt like he was staring into my sole and crazy shit like that. Ugh and he had the most fuckawesome lips ever they were plump and pink and just ungg. All the smartass words I was ready to say to him just flew out the window. Well fuck. I'm not going look like an ass in front of him who cares that he's hot he definitely doesn't have the right to be a huge flaming douche bag.

So instead of looking like an idiot I spoke up "I'm sorry, did u just whistle at me?" I said that a bit harsh but what the fuck I'm not a dog. I hate when people whistle at people.

"No, I was whistling at your car sweets but your not to bad yourself" he said and did this weird half smile thing as he proceeded to eye me up and down slowly. Wow that's uncomfortable. And _sweets_? Who the fuck was this guy? and then he winked! Was he being serious right now? Did he think that was a good pickup line or some shit?

"I'm sorry, your are?" I wanted to at least know the name of this guy who had the nerve to be so blunt with me.

"Edward Cullen" he stuck his hand out for me to shake it and even though I kind of wanted to punch him I took his hand because that was the decent thing to do, even if I'm the only decent one here right now. "and you are?"

"Bella, uhm Bella Swan" why was I nervous? Oh god I needed to get away from this boy he's making me feel crazy.

"oh yah the new girl. " I grimaced at that. "do u need help finding your way around?"

I'm sure with the way he looked he definitely knew his way _around_. I didn't want anyone's help but I did need to find the main office before homeroom. so… "yah that'd be great, thanks."

So I followed Edward Cullen into school and to the main office where a lady Ms. Cope was sitting behind a desk. It seemed I wasn't the only one who thought Edward was gorgeous because even her, this fifty something year old woman was in fact eye-fucking him. I don't even think he noticed, and if he did he did a good job at hiding it. That would have made me uncomfortable as fuck.

After ms. Cope peeled her eyes away from him she found my paperwork and gave me my schedule and map of the school. Great. My first class was English with Ms. Mack then history with Mr. Gregg then Spanish with Mrs. Sullivan then biology with Mr. banner. Lunch and then gym with coach Egan. Today was going to be a long day. When we walked out into the hall I turned to Edward because this question needed to be asked.

"So does she always eye-fuck the shit out of you or was that just today?" he looked at me like I had two heads and then just laughed like I told the worlds funniest joke. I'm pretty sure everyone in this town was slightly crazy at this point.

"Wow swan you got a mouth on you huh?" he threw his arm over my shoulder and just walked me through the hallway "yah she does it all the time but I don't complain because I can get anything I want from her." what was with him. Did he not know the rules of personal boundaries. I slid from under his arm ready to make my hasty escape and then looked up. Why was everyone looking at me? I looked down to make sure I remembered my pants or something because Christ! everyone was staring at me today. I started to fidget under everyone's intense gazes. Then some blonde bimbo looking girl who looked like she wanted to rip my eyes out and force feed them to me walked right up to me and Edward who were stopped at my locker by now and just about ripped him away like a toy.

"Edward why weren't you waiting at your car for me this morning and who is this?" the sound of her voice was like cats in a fight. She wasn't ugly but she wasn't gorgeous which you could tell by the way she carried herself she certainly thought she was. I just kind of sat back and smiled waiting for the fun. I don't really enjoy confrontation but seeing this cocky Edward look somewhat unsettled was sort of funny.

"Tanya I told you last weekend was a mistake please stop your embarrassing yourself." ouch.. I didn't even know her and I pitied her right now. "And this is Bella Swan she's new here." will everyone quit it with the new shit. Please.

"Well Edward what are you doing over here with _her_ I'm sure she's smart enough to open a locker herself?" Bitch. That was the only word that ran through my mind. She's reminds me of those clingy girls who can't take no for an answer which is probably exactly what she is. Even Edward looks a bit aggravated. Oh his name does funny things to me. I have to stop now I'm becoming just as crazy as everyone else in this town.

"What I do is none of your business Tanya , go away" right now _I_ really wanted to get away from these insane people because they have me feeling so on edge and that's just not needed considering I'm already nervous as fuck when I'm trying my hardest to remain non-fuckin-chalant. I mean fuck! Why are they fighting about something that's clearly fucking private right in front of me and my innocent goddamn locker when all I'm trying to do is get my shit put away and my notebook out to take to class! So while they continued to argue I did what I had to do and took off like a bat out of hell the opposite way. Phewww crisis averted. Well at least by me, I could still hear them yelling from down the hallway and there only getting louder. Whatever their not my problem. I took a breathe of relief for the first time today.

"Swan, where are you going?" fuck Edwards following. Uhh quick think fast. Ah hah ! Girls room, there's no way he can get to me in there. I'm fucking genius. I just about jumped into the girls room to escape the apparently popular and very stubborn Edward Cullen. Hah! doesn't he know that when someone walks away that means there done talking to you or whatever your not supposed to fucking follow them. I pulled my schedule out of my bag along with my map and tried to memorize that shit because I wasn't trying to look like a douche pulling it out all day. It didn't help that only 3 of my classes were close to each other but at least my first ones close to the bathroom. I held onto the door handle of the bathroom ready to psyche myself up before I left and fed myself to the dogs so to speak and then realized what the fuck I was touching and how gross that shit was and let go. So with my hand by my side this time I gave my self a pretty damn good pep talk if I do say so myself. It went something like this " Kay Bella don't be to much of a bitch to the nice ones, be a huge bitch to the fucked up ones, and avoid Edward Cullen and that Tory Tasha Tanya bitch all together. With that in mind I made my exit out of the bathroom and gave myself a pat on the fucking back because Cullen was nowhere in sight. If I had a happy dance right now I'd bust it out. I'm pretty sure I'm going to need a list of all the shit I have to do later. Adding create a happy fucking dance to the bottom.

I made my way to the first class of the day. English with Ms. Mack. I briefly wondered if she got a lot of shit for that name, and if her first name was Mary because yes I'm a child like that. When I walked into the classroom there weren't many students there yet so I gave the teacher my slip and headed to the extreme back of the room, because lets be honest I'm to cool to sit in the front. Ha-ha not really I just don't like when people look at me and it's a hell of a lot harder to do that when your in the back of everyone else. Students started filing in and yes they all looked at the _new girl_ in the back. Christ! you'd think they never seen a new face around here. So I just averted all there gazes and let them get there peeks in because this was the only chance they would get. But when the chair right next to me squealed against the floor I look up to find this girl about four foot nothing with short black hair in like a spiky bob sitting down. I wanted to make a mad face and be a child and demand I get to sit alone but then I looked around and noticed all the seats were occupied.

Taking another look back at the little thing sitting next to me I realized what she was wearing. She had on a black I am the Avalanche band t-shirt skinny jeans and black converse. I fucking approved considering that band was the absolute shit and I had the same shirt. I guess she could sit next to me then, I'd rather have her than one of those freaky Barbie clone looking chicks that were _still _staring at me.

However one dirty look from me turned there heads for them pretty quickly. _I still got it_ I thought to myself with a smirk. Then I heard a snort from next to me and turned to see the tiny girl looking at me with amusement. I quirked an eyebrow in her direction because I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything funny and wondered if this girl who I almost considered becoming friends with was also on the crazy wagon.

"sorry I just like the way your handled the stares from the freaks up front, I'm Alice by the way" she whispered since Ms. Mack the 106 year old looking teacher started her lesson already even though I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be able to hear us if we were screaming in her face.

I smiled back because she seemed nice and I didn't want her to think I was mad at her for laughing I probably looked pretty funny doing that "thanks. I'm Bella , notorious new girl I'm sure u heard all about" I rolled my eyes at that last part because the new girl shit still pissed me off, but it was a playful eye roll because Alice was cool to my standards.

She smiled back "yeah you have been brought up lately but don't worry it wont last long I was new here last year and they got over it pretty quickly probably less quick than most because the way I look and the music I listen to." I liked Alice right then and decided we could be friends because I have a feeling she knows exactly what I'm going through.

"Well for the record" I told her with a brilliant smile of my own "I own the shirt your wearing and happen to think of there music as some of the best. Along with my favorite band Taking Back Sunday of course" and then her smile got so big I thought her face was going to rip. I'm pretty sure she even started bouncing in her seat a little.

"oh Bella I think we're going to be great friends. You'll fit in great with the rest of the gang to." I tried to smile a real smile because if were being honest with ourselves and we seem to be doing a lot of that lately its not very common at all for me to make friends, but the idea of meeting a whole group of people at a time made me pretty nervous. Which I'm sure Alice picked up on because she assured me that there were only five people and they were all really great. "Hey Bella this is my number so u have it. I get bored in class and like to text and I'd love to talk to you some more." and with that she threw a note in my direction and made me feel like a fifth grader again. But I didn't mind in the least. I very stealthily took out my phone and programmed her number into it then sent her a text so she has mine then I put an I am the avalanche picture up for when she texted me along with her name to know it was her. Soon after that the bell rang for next class and Alice met me at the door. I kind of liked having her around she was so full of the energy I seems to lack and I felt a lot better in her presence. We talked about ourselves all the way to my next class where we sadly had to part.

This class was history with Mr. Gregg and this time there were already a lot of students here. The only open seat was next to some blonde kid who had his head down on the desk and appeared to be sleeping. I don't think the teacher noticed though so he was good. Did the teachers even care what we did at this place. From what I've seen so far I'm guessing not.

I gave my slip to the teacher and he asked if I wanted to introduce myself. Hah! Yeah fucking right. Is he kidding me? Who asks that. Well I politely declined with "uhm not at all." to which he laughed at and shrugged his shoulders. I'm pretty sure he's going to be an easy going teacher. So with that I made my way to the middle of the room next to sleepy and tried but failed miserable to avoid anyone's gazes. After I got settled in my seat Mr. Gregg started the lesson and I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I dug it out and looked at the screen to see Alice's name with the awesome picture I picked out for her and smiled to myself before I opened the text.

**How's Greggs class? -A**

Was it wrong to be this excited to have a friend. Probably. Did I care? Fuck no. it's been awhile.

**Boring as fuck I already know all this stuff. Are all the classes this easy?-B**

She replied faster than should have been possible which made me smile because this girl had to be on something to be _this_ hyper this early in the morning.

**Yeah its all easy like that. I learned that last year. Anyone interesting in this class at least? -A**

I took a look around before I answered because I haven't even surveyed the area yet. But was once again disappointed and even more self conscious because there was no one here interesting and they were all staring still.

**Nah not really just a bunch of people with staring problems. ;] and one boy who isn't even awake. Lol- B**

It took all of 4 seconds for her to write back this time. I took another look around before I answered to make sure the teacher wasn't looking and noticed that sleepy was awake and staring at me. Wow! I was not ready for such a pretty face to be connected to his sleepy form. What was with the boys in this town being gorgeous , its certainly not all of them because I've seen ugly ones in this very classroom but him! He was more a surfer looking dude I'd expect to see in California or something with his shaggy blonde hair and bright blue eyes, the way he dressed you could tell he really didn't give a fuck either. He had on a worn out rolling stones t-shirt on and distressed jeans. Even with his grungy look you could tell he was clean, and he just looked all together bored here. Just like me. Then I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket again and looked down again there were two texts one from Alice and one from an unknown number. that's odd. I checked the one from Alice first.

**Oh that might be jazzy [: he's my boyfriend and he's in that class now. He's not always tired but he had a late night last night. Oh and heads up my brother took my phone and got your number sorry /: he seen us talking and claims he knows you. Just ignore him.-A**

I laughed because I could just picture little tiny Alice trying to wrestle her phone away from her brother. Its okay its not like her brothers a creep or anything and she didn't tell me. Well… she did tell me to just ignore him. How would he know me though? Whatever. I opened the next text message.

**Hey swan what's crackin?-E**

You have got to be kidding me… there's only one person that has ever called me swan. And the E he signed at the end of the text confirms that Alice's brother is indeed Edward Cullen. Well shit. What do I say now? I couldn't very well ask who it was because I'm pretty sure he would see through that lie and I'm not a great liar anyways. Even through a text message.

**Are you stalking me-B**

That should do it. Now before I forget about Alice..

**Don't worry its fine about your brother I did meet him earlier this morning. He just cant get enough of me it seems. And is your boyfriend wearing a rolling stones shirt today? Blonde hair and blue eyes?-B**

I looked up and realized we had only fifteen minutes left of class. Insert non-existent happy dance here*. I really need a fucking happy dance and soon. I gathered up my things because I hate having to rush at the end of class. My phone vibrated again and I was not going to admit I was a little nervous for who it was this time. Luckily it was just Alice.

**Yep that's him alright [: Kay thanks for not being mad about Edward. And ill meet you outside of your classroom at the bell. -A**

Thank god for Alice because I had no clue where my Spanish class was.

**Thanks because I'm going to need help finding my next class [; -B**

I put my phone away and waited for the bell to ring. Once it did I bolted to the door like my ass was on fire. I was so ready for the day to be over. Unfortunately someone had other plans. Before I could get out of the room some boy pulled me to the side and right when I was getting ready to knee him in the balls for putting his grubby fucking hands on me he introduced himself.

"Hi I'm Mike Newton, Quarter back for the football team" he said this all with the most sickly looking smile I had ever seen and it took everything in me to not laugh my ass off at this boy. He would have been better off saying 'Hi I'm Mike Newton Fork highs official IT boy and I think I'm awesome so you should want to talk to me.' As fucking if. This Newton boy was just not someone I would waste my time on. And the sad thing is he could probably be a pretty cool guy if his head wasn't so far up his own ass his goddamn voice echoed.

"Well mike, I'm Bella and if u ever put your hands on me again without my permission you wont have any." I said with the best smile I could muster because lets face it I didn't want to be a bitch but he was pissing me off. Then I walked away. Jesus what was with the boys in this town. I met Alice in the hallway and she officially introduced me to 'jazzy' whose real name I learned was jasper hale and he was in the group of friends Alice was talking about earlier. He was actually really cool and walked with Alice and I to my Spanish class.

This class I found a seat in the back and was immediately sorry about it. Some girl next to me who's name was like Jessica or something like that just wouldn't stop talking to me. I'm pretty sure all I said was 'hi I'm Bella' and it was like I pressed the fucking on button because she just kept talking and talking and talking. Like the fucking energizer bunny or some shit. So in Spanish I added another task to my list of things to do. Avoid ever sitting next to Jessica again. This class was also easy as fuck. Were all the classes in this place beginner or some shit? I have a feeling I won't be learning anything new this year. Instead of paying attention in this class I pretended to listen to Jessica blab on about this place like it was interesting and I drew in my notebook to pass the time while also wondering to myself where this chicks off switch was located.

When this bell rang I wanted to personally thank the school bell and once again wondered if this town was making me in fact crazy. My next class was biology with Mr. Banner and I hope for some entertainment in that class. I found it rather easy because it wasn't far from my last class and went to talk to the teacher and give him my slip he filled me in on what they had been working on since I was coming in the middle of the year. He also told me he read my transcripts and said I would have an easy time in this class. Great. Another boring class. Jesus fuck I need to find something fun to do in this town. After he was done I turned to find that just about everyone seat was filled. There was one seat open at a table in the beck that I made my way over to. When I got there I debating sitting on the floor because on the other side of my lab table was.. You got it. A very happy look Cullen.

"sup swan. Did u miss me?" like a headache. I tried to smile but was not in the mood so I'm sure it came out as more of a sneer.

"Your are stalking me aren't you?" I questioned only half joking because come the fuck on people seriously he's _everywhere_. "and no Cullen I cant say I missed you since its been about an hour and a half since I last fucking saw you." even if it had been weeks I still wouldn't have missed him. It looked like my plan to avoid him was shot to shit anyways so I guess I had to be civil, considering he has a kickass awesome sister who actually wants to be my friend. I look over to him to see if I hurt his feelings because he's being really quiet and from the time I met him he hasn't shut the fuck up, but when I look he's eyeing the shit out of me. I look at him like he's crazy because he's still just staring, and normal people look away when they get caught looking but I'm beginning to realize this kids anything but normal. When that didn't work I cleared my throat and just quirked an eye brow at him. That seemed to knock him out of whatever parallel universe he just drifted off to because the cocky smile was back. It sucked that he was so arrogant because he was really beautiful but as soon as his mouth opened it was ruined.

"Wow you have such a way with words Bella, you know just what to say to make me feel special" he said with very heavy but playful sarcasm. I guess he wasn't so bad if he could take my shit and give it right back. I just smiled I was being a total bitch and he was taking it like a champ. He's still not cool yet, but he's a little closer to being cool. Now that I thought about him being cool I decided to check out what he was wearing since I had yet to do so. He was wearing a gray v neck t-shirt with fitted jeans that weren't too tight and gray vans. Well holy shit on a goddamn stick maybe he was cooler than I thought. It was weird for me to find this many people with the same style as me and I already found two of them. Today might be my lucky fucking day.

"thanks I try" then I remembered something "oh so what's with your friend Tina or whatever the fuck her name is?" honestly it was bugging the shit out of me that she was so hostile towards me for no apparent reason. I mean it was my first fucking day and I have yet to say any words to her never mind something to make her not like me. But from the look she gave me earlier was definitely not a friendly look.

"oh she's just some girl don't worry about her, why do you ask?" he asked that last part a little suggestive and I almost laughed in his face.

"I don't care who she is to you ass, but she didn't look like she liked me very much. Not that I care because I definitely wouldn't choose to be her friend, its just pointless for her to not like me." I tried to describe what I was thinking but I'm not really good with words I guess you could say. What the fuck ever at least he got that.

"oh she probably doesn't like you because she seen us together but she'll get over it, I'm not her property and were going to be together a lot anyways." what the hell? When did he decide I was going to be around him? This boy makes me laugh.

"who says we are going to be together a lot?" I might have said that a little to defensively because he looked at me in amusement before answering.

"well, your friends with Alice who is my sister and one of my best friends so its going to be natural to be around you a lot to." he finished with a smile and a wink in my direction. Did that sound like he's been thinking of that idea before or was that just me loosing a few more marbles. fuck. This boy was seriously fucking with me. Hardcore.

"yeah I guess your right. So tell me about this school the only stuff I've heard so far about it is from that god awful Jessica girl, Christ she's like the cat in the hat on speed that one." that made him chuckle so I'm guessing he's been subjected to her motor mouth before.

"yeah that's Stanley for you. She's highly annoying and will talk for hours about absolutely nothing if you let her. She's also like forks town crier so don't tell her shit." Pffft wasn't planning on it. " she's really good friends with Tanya the girl from earlier, they have there own little posse or some shit because there always causing some kind of drama together. Just stay far away from them." I looked around the room to see if any of the current people in discussion were present and caught a glance of the famous Mikey Newton himself glaring in Cullen's direction. I smiled because shit he was really hating on him for talking to me like I was _his_ or some shit.

Edward must have seen my smile and mistaken its meaning because the next thing I know he snorted and said "figures you'd be crushing on Newton already" I was torn between gagging, punching Cullen's face in, and laughing out fucking loud because that shit was A. hilarious for him to even think B. disgusting as fuck and C. why would that shit matter to him?.

"uhm yeah fucking right Cullen. I'm smiling because Newton's pissed I'm talking to you when just last class I was this close to causing him bodily fucking harm for putting his hands on me." I said and made a little gesture with my thumb and index finger to show him just how close to death Newton came.

Whatever I said made him feel a lot better because the unexplainable mad look he had faded. but then he gave me a look somewhere between murderous and incredulous and once again I worried about his sanity. "what do u _mean_ he put his hands on you?" whoa that was unexpected. what was with everyone and there possessiveness I mean really ever heard of an inde -fucking-pendant woman! apparently not.

" Wow take a fucking chill pill Cullen he grabbed me and pulled me aside to introduced himself. I obviously fucking handled that shit. "I said but then added " and what if I did have a crush on Newton ?" the look he gave me made me add " well of course I don't but if I fucking wanted to I would."

He looked a lot more relaxed but his eyebrows were still fucking knitted together like he was thinking way to hard about some shit. I wanted to run my hand over it and smooth them out. but instead of looking like a huge freak I kept my hands to myself.

"I thought u meant he tried to hurt you or something sorry for caring" well fuck. now I felt bad. time for the hard part that I hate.

" I'm.. I'm sorry. I guess I'm just not used to people caring that's all. he didn't hurt me don't worry." I just sort of looked at him and stared into his eyes trying to find out what he's thinking and _fuck_! I think we just had a moment. Why was that so easy with him. I hate apologizing but it made me feel like absolute shit when he made that little sad face. I'm so fucked.

"its okay," he said and I thought he was finished until he added "and I thought u liked Newton because just about every girl here does and I got upset because I thought u were different. which your still proving to be by the way." he finished with that goddamn crooked grin that made me melt and a little rib jab with his elbow.

I let it slide because I was just a bitch to him. plus the melting feeling wasn't even so bad anymore. I'm getting sort of used of it. I probably should be worried about feeling so comfortable around him but I couldn't find it in me to fucking care right now.

A few minutes later the ball rang and I was equal parts relieved and sad. sad because Edward wasn't so bad when he wasn't being a dick and relieved because its lunch and I'm fucking starving.

Edward and I were on our way to lunch when Jessica Stanley came over and started talking like we were friends. where she got that crazy idea I don't fucking know.

"So Bella, I was thinking you could sit with me and my friends at lunch today?" fuck. how do I politely decline because honestly I would rather eat shit for lunch before subjecting myself to her and the saucy posse of forks high. luckily Cullen has a heart somewhere in that hot bod of his.

"Actually Bella already said she'd sit with me and my friends for lunch today sorry jess." he didn't look one bit sorry.

Maybe a little smug but sorry… no not at all she looked somewhat disappointed till she said "oh that's okay maybe tomorrow." I didn't get a chance to answer before she went to her table which is probably a good thing.

"Shit I'm going to have to get on her bad side. Why does she even want to be my fucking friend?" I wondered out loud

"Because your cool as fuck that's why. Don't worry you can sit with us all the time by the way." his answer shocked me because I wasn't expecting such a nice thing to come out of his mouth.

"Awe is my potty mouth rubbing off on you Cullen? and thanks for that by the way" I said pointing my thumb in Stanley's direction.

"no problem you'll just owe me. and that ain't the only thing of yours I want rubbed on me" I looked up into his face to make sure he was in his right mind right now and just to make sure I heard him right. he just smiled , winked and kept walking to the table like he didn't just say he wanted to.. rub. Things.. with _me_. well fuck that! I will not be one upped. When we got to the table Alice and Jasper were already there sitting with a big muscular dude with dark hair and dimples to die for and some blonde chick who look like she just walked out off the cover of a fucking magazine. Yep I'm pretty sure my self esteem just hit a new low. They dressed just about the same as the rest of the group all pretty alternative and laid back.

"Hey Bella" Alice was the first to speak up "this is the rest of them I was telling you about. this big guy here is Emmett and this is his girlfriend jaspers sister Rosalie."

"hey, I'm Bella" I said pretty lamely considering they already knew my name but I wanted to introduce myself. I stuck my hand out to Rosalie and she took it with a sweet smile.

Then I turned to Emmett a little intimidated by his size and stuck out my hand he wrapped his huge one all the way around mines which was tiny as fuck in his and pulled me into a huge bear hug. "So this is the famous Bella I've been hearing about all morning. What's good girlie." he said pulling back finally allowing me to breathe. I could only smile because fuck that was unexpected and everyone here pretty much acted like it was his normal behavior. which it probably was.

"Well guys it was really nice meeting you but I'm going to get my lunch I'm fucking starving" I said rubbing my stomach and turned to walk off and get my lunch before hearing Emmett.

"Wow, she even eats like a real person. I can tell she's awesome." what the fuck. I chuckled at him. Has he not seen many girls who eat ?

The lunch line at this school was confusing to say in the least. Where the fuck do I go! I thought I'd be able to just buy my food and eat it. Guess not there's like lines and shit.

"Need any help" why was that voice so familiar and why did it make my bones cringe. I turned around to see none other than Mike Newton. fucking hell! I was ready to seriously just eliminate this boy on my first day I mean honestly does he not catch fucking hints?

"No I'm good" I'll just starve today. whatever.

"You sure? you look a little confused" fuck you I'm not _confused_. I'm debating.

"Really Mike, I'm good "be nice. be nice. be nice he did this weird humph thing and stalked off. finally he's getting it.

Now time to get my food I thought humorlessly since I had no idea what to do. so I just walked up into the line got my food left a five with that lady and walked back to the table. I must have had a big accomplished smile on my face because the whole table was looking at me questioningly.

"what" I asked because fuck I was proud and they were killing it.

Emmett was the first to speak up "damn Bella, how much people are you feeding today." what? I don't get it.

"just me...why" I answered confused. was I missing something?

" because the only other person who's plate I've ever seen like that is Emmett" jasper answered with a smile oh aha I get it now.

"no I just like to eat." I said with a big smile because they weren't the first people to comment on my eating.

"how are you not huge right now?" Rosalie questioned laughing and looking at my stomach. I looked down and checked my small waste out shrugging my shoulders because fuck if I know.

Lunch was spent with us all joking around and me getting to know everyone. they all seemed like a pretty solid group of people and I'm glad that amongst all the fuckery and insanity that was in this place I managed to find a decent bunch of friends.


	2. Just Fine With That

After lunch there was only one class left. gym. I fervently hoped this class was exciting because if not this school officially sucks huge donkey ass. Just saying.

Alice and Rosalie walked with me to my locker because we all had gym next. The whole group did actually but they boys went straight to the gym today. I dropped my books off and we started off towards the locker room to change. The locker room was a lot better than my last school which was unsuspected but welcomed. I was in a really good mood since gym was one of my favorite subjects. That is until I saw that Tanya girl from earlier sitting with Stanley on the bench. And of course she couldn't pass up the opportunity to talk to me.

"hey _Bella_, where's Edward at?" She asked holding so much venom in her voice I thought her tongue might melt. What the fuck is her problem? I haven't said two words to this bitch and she's pressing my buttons way to far.

" I wouldn't know Tanya I'm not Edward's keeper. " I was done with her immature bullshit already and I just went to find coach Egan for my uniform so I could change.

After I finished changing into the barely there fucking shorts and gray t-shirt that was mandatory for gym class I stood in the mirror trying my hardest to keep my goddamn ass cheeks in the teeny tiny things I have to wear. I'm not used to showing this much skin and I'm highly uncomfortable but ill be damned if I let anyone know. I picked my head up, tried to look confident and went out into the gym. I spotted the gang in the back of the gymnasium waiting for me and Alice was laughing so hard I could here her while I was walking over.

Oh god. Is she laughing at me? I furtively tried to pull my shorts a little further down because maybe they looked dumb.

"Oh Bella don't worry I'm not laughing at you. Just turn around and look at Tanya and Jessica grilling you." I did what she said and started laughing when I seen them sitting on the bleachers absolutely glaring at me. If looks could kill I'd be one dead son of a bitch.

So obviously I just had to fuck with her a little more.

"hey you uhh...Tasha was it? Oh no ! Tina ! I found Edward. Remember you

were looking for him."

What? I couldn't help it. I knew the bitches name was Tanya too I just like fucking with her. She just sneered in my direction and turned to Jessica probably talking mad shit but what the fuck ever.

"What do you mean you found me I've been right here" Edward asked confused which made Rosalie and Alice laugh.

"Oh nothing Tanya was just being a bitch earlier in the locker room. I don't know what her problem is but I don't like her." I explained while looking around trying to figure out what this class was going to be about. "Someone tell me this class is going to be fun because I could really use some excitement today" I asked looking around because I haven't seen any clues to hint at what we were going to do today.

Gym class ended up being volleyball which I'm pretty good at it was girls against boys and let me just tell you the boys do _not_ like losing.

After we all got dressed we walked to the parking lot together and realized we all parked together and laughed.

Alice had a fucking canary yellow Porsche! Her and Edward obviously had impeccable taste in cars. Emmett had a huge jeep which fit him perfectly and Jasper and Rosalie both took the same car. A very ostentatious red BMW which I'm guessing was Rosalie's because jasper just didn't seem the type.

I was fucking drooling looking at the cars right now and they all just laughed when I told them how obsessed I was.

"Hey Bella where all going to hang at my house this Friday and go to a show. you want in?" Alice asked while cuddling up into Jasper.

A show. Oh please tell me there talking about the same kind of shows I'm thinking of. I think ill cry.

"What kind of show are we talking?" I asked with a grin because they definitely seemed like the type of kids that would go to _those_ kind of shows.

"Well I think Set Your Goals is playing along with other ones but were initially going for them." Edward explained with a smile.

And yes I did just almost fucking squeal like a goddamn giddy school girl. luckily I held it together.

" Umm fuck yeah I'm in! Set Your Goals is only one of my favorite bands. I didn't even know they were playing around here anymore." I don't think I've been this excited in a while.

Emmett guffawed loudly at my enthusiasm "Wow she talks so fun" he said which made everyone laugh.

"Come on Edward we're going to jaspers house because me and jazzy promised to make dinner for his mom and dad and then watch a movie afterwards" Alice rushed Edward excitedly. How anyone kept up with Alice was amazing to me.

You could tell Edward really didn't want to go sit through a dinner and a movie with the two love birds plus parents. I almost felt bad for him. Key word there being _almost_.

"Hurry up Edward, don't want to keep the lovely couple waiting I teased while Jasper and Alice were somehow walking and making out at the same time.

"No way swan, I'll just go hang with you" of fucking course Edward would want to hang out with me when he could have just asked Rose or Emmett to.

"Oh no you wont. I have shit to do right now and I wouldn't be able to drop you off home until way later." I felt the need to explain myself because I honestly would hang out with him but I had places to be people to fucking see ladies and gentleman.

"That's fine Swan I don't have a curfew. My parents are out of town this week." he waggled his eyebrows playfully at me while smirking and I wanted to punch his pretty little face. Oh and in case you were wondering, yes I am a violent person when I'm mad.

"Suit yourself Cullen don't complain if you get bored though" I had to warn him. I'm a boring fucking girl.

" Oh, I can pretty much guarantee you'll keep me entertained" he said.

"Whatever" I had to chuckle at that one.

"So can I drive?" he said like it was a normal fucking thing to say. I'm pretty sure I just looked at him like he asked to cut my fucking legs off or some other crazy shit.

"Fat fucking chance Cullen."

"please, _bella_" he begged. oh shit. He should never say my name like that ever again. I might explode. He leaned in as he said it letting his eyes get all big.

What the fuck was this magic?

I was stunned for a few seconds just opening and closing my mouth like a goddamn fish out of water and apparently he was to since I just realized the parking lot was empty even Alice and Jasper were gone. When the fuck did they leave?

"Fine." He caved because I definitely wouldn't have. "you can drive"

I plugged my ipod in and turned it to my Front Page playlist another awesome band and sped off to my house. One good thing about living in this po dunk little town is that you just about never get caught speeding.

A few minutes later we pulled up to my house and I ran in to grab my purse.

When I came out Cullen was still sitting in the passenger seat like a good little boy. I smiled because I would have thought he was going to give me a hard time.

"So where we going anyways?" he finally asked the question I had been waiting for.

I suppose this was a reasonable question to ask but I didn't really want to tell him in case he got freaked out and wanted to bail because that was not going to happen.

"Well first things first, I need to stop at a grocery store" a little hint wouldn't hurt since I didn't know where the fuck a grocery was in this town never mind if there even is one.

Edward gave me directions and he decided to come in with me even though I said I was going to be quick. There were four things on my list and if this store didn't have them we were going to another one. We strolled up and down the isles while I looked for the first thing on my list. Chips Ahoy chocolate chip cookies. soft of course. I got bored so I decided to play the question game because I didn't know all to much about Cullen if I really fucking thought about it. I turned to look up at him

"What's your favorite color?" he looked a bit taken a back with my question. I'm not sure why. It was a legitimate fucking question.

"blue" original.

"why"

" I don't know.. its a nice color. it reminds me of my first car." weird.

" okay. what's your favorite shape?" I wonder if he'd get mad. but lets be real these were some of the most important things people should know about each other. Right? fuck yes.

"ah.. a trapezoid" that was a new one.

"why" 3-2-…

"why does it matter why? its a shape." it was only a matter of time.

"because Cullen if something is important to you it should have a goddamn reason why. don't you think?" I thought so.

He looked thoughtful for a minute then asked " okay what's your favorite color?"

"black" I answered instantly while reaching for the cookies. now the next item. vanilla bean ice cream.

"why black?" he asked.

"because black is not really a color at all. its the absence of light. its... misunderstood" I answered unsure of what he was going to say.

I've never really told anyone why because most people automatically assume something as simple as a favorite color wouldn't be so deep. He looked quite happy with my answer actually which was weird but whatever. He moved on to the obvious next question.

"What's your favorite shape?" I really didn't want to answer this so I busied myself with picking the correct ice cream and putting it in the basket. Then I got the case of root beer and then the last ingredient milk chocolate Hershey bars. I found that quick enough and now we were in the checkout line behind some lady with kids who were rude as fuck. I don't like kids. Period. I don't know why, they just make me nervous.

I almost thought Cullen had forgotten about the question until we made it back to the car and he asked again.

"fine its a circle" there that's all he was getting.

"why is your favorite color a circle?" he asked merely curious. He didn't seem judgmental or incredulous. I just didn't want to get made fun of.

"If I tell you will you promise not to laugh or make fun of me?" if he did I was kicking him in the balls. He nodded. "a circle is my favorite color because its infinite. it has no beginning and no end. its... forever"

I said the last part quietly because fuck! I didn't want him to think I had a soft side and I didn't want to be vulnerable to him. Ever. if your vulnerable there's a chance you'll get hurt. Fuck that shit. Hard.

I looked over to see if he was holding in laughter or something because he was too quiet. He was just.. looking at me. Like _really_ looking. I was scared of what he might see so I turned forward and said "yeah don't tell anyone that or ill fuck you up Cullen. no joke." and I peeled out of that place like a bat out of hell.

I fucking loved this car to pieces dude. It drove so smooth I felt like we were hovering. I drove through the unfamiliar green town and followed the directions I forced myself to memorize until we got to the little white house at the end of a road. a nice wrap around porch with her in the rocking chair drinking some shit I knew she didn't want to. I turned to Cullen.

" look this is my gram she's a bit of a hardass but deal with it okay." he looked a little nervous so I added "chill Cullen she's not going to shoot you." but because I was a bitch finished with "they took away her gun a few days ago."

Edward looked so fucking nervous I had to just laugh at his ass. I grabbed his arm so I could stop him from running away from gram because he sure the fuck looked like he was going to.

"Calm down Edward. She's just a sweet old lady" I whispered to make him feel better. We climbed the stairs and I went over to give my gram a kiss on her cheek.

"hey gram, guess what I brought you" I went to take the bag from Edward since he insisted on carrying it like I was a damn cripple.

"Bella darling, when were you planning on telling me what a hot piece of ass your boyfriend is?" whoa whoa whoa. _awkward_...

"Gram Edward's not my boyfriend he's just a friend" I smiled trying to not bust out laughing because Cullen's fucking blushing!

" Oh is that what the kids are calling it these days? very well Hun, I won't pry. Now tell me what you brought" she smiled because she already fucking knew and still wanted to act surprised. Just like always. Man I fucking missed the shit out of her.

She moved out here three weeks before me and I went from seeing her everyday to not at all. Not going to lie this woman's my best fucking friend.

And it had nothing to do with the fact that she's my only friend. I grabbed the bag as me and Cullen sat down and handed her the items one by one. whenever we were together our visits consisted of root beer, vanilla bean ice cream, chocolate chip cookies, and milk chocolate Hershey bars.

"So Edward is it ?" Oh fuck I knew that tone. She's not letting us pass this subject to quickly. Oh well, I kind of like seeing him squirm. Instead of interject like I probably should I smiled and sipped my root beer.

" uhm yeah. Edward Cullen." he answered somewhat wary. This shit was good. Man I loved my gram.

"Are you and my granddaughter at least being safe?" and you know in movies when people spit there drinks out and its like fucking epically hilarious. we'll.. I will never laugh again because it fucking hurts like hell. .I started choking because I already starting swallowing some. Edward patted my back until he has sure I wasn't going to die.

"What the hell gram! I just told you we are just _friends_?" I yelled.

She just shook her head. "oh come on! you can't tell me you haven't thought about it Bella."

Oh my god she's really going to talk about this like Cullen's not two fucking feet away.

"Lets change the subject now please." she knew I was serious but she whispered in Edwards ear loudly so I could here anyways.

"she didn't deny it." Edward just smiled and looked at me.

After we got over the shock of gram talking about our non existent sex life we actually had a really good time. I told gram all about my first day at school. And she told me all about the three weeks she spent here without me. How an old person's life was more exciting then mine I'll never know but she started telling me about some hot young neighbor boy she thought I would like, to which I politely declined. It was way more than awkward talking about that shit with Cullen right the fuck there. I'm pretty sure she did it on purpose. Six thirty rolled around and we were all eating Hershey bars listening to gram tell us about the good old days. I already heard about most of these stories but Edward didn't so it was all good.

Once she started talking about old pictures she had of me I knew it was time to go. I gave her another kiss and was shocked when Cullen leaned over and did the same. Leaving was always the worst part but I put on my big girl panties because shit needed to get done. It wasn't as hard with Edward there which was a plus. I think gram enjoyed his company too. That was the first time I brought someone with me to go see her. I climbed into the drivers seat again because we had one more stop before we went to Cullen's.

" Okay Cullen. Looks like this is a day of fucking first because I've never taken anyone with me to see gram, and I've certainly never had anyone with me for what we are about to do next. Feel special." I tried my hardest to not change my mind because it didn't feel wrong to have Edward with me and that was hella fucking scary.

" wan I think your getting a crush" his smile.

swoon. wait. what the fucking _fuck_ ? what the shits going on with me. I don't swoon and I _certainly_ don't goddamn do it for Edward fucking Cullen's smile!

"Once again Cullen, you make me think your unstable" I smiled politely at him trying to play off the fact I was now having sexual fantasies that included him.

I pulled into my driveway and went upstairs to my room. I walked over to the window and opened it before turning back to Edward.

"No really, don't tell anyone about this okay." he nodded before I went on to tell him what I was actually doing. "Okay so everyday at seven I sit on my roof and watch... the sunset" one smart comment and his ass is grass.

I crawled out the window and scooted out far enough to make room for one more. I pulled my ipod out of my pocket and once Cullen was settled next to me and gave him one ear bud. Then I put on some nice relaxing music. A Loss For Words seemed suitable. I laid back and watched the sun slowly descend.

"can I ask you a question?" Edward whispered quietly like I would kill him if he spoke to loud or some shit like that. Which wasn't entirely wrong.

"ask away." he was growing on me. that wasn't good but I would worry about that later.

"why do you come up here everyday to watch the sunset?" he asked tentatively.

I took a deep breathe and decided to just answer honestly because like I said we've been doing that a lot lately. Plus Edward already knew a fuck ton of stuff about me no one else knew. Not even my gram.

"when I'm up here its just" no turning back now Bella. its balls to the walls… well you know what I mean "Well its just that when I'm up here its like nothing else matters. all the problems and the frustrations of the real world just go away for a while. I get to really think without all the distractions in the way. its my favorite place to be." I looked away from him scared to see what he thought. The sun was almost all the way down so we should be going soon.

"yeah so you should be getting home now Cullen. Wouldn't want to cut into your much needed beauty sleep." lies. For being so honest lately that might have possibly been the biggest lie I've ever told.

"Whatever Swan you know you think I'm hot" he joked climbing back into the window. I'm not going to admit to that or that I checked his ass out just now. We don't have to be _that_ honest.

" Has anyone else ever told you how big of a head you have" I chuckled as we walked downstairs so I could walk him to the door.

"Hey, where are your parents?" he asked turning around when he should have just left.

"there out" I stated flatly. No need to tell him the whole truth. They were out.

"oh" he thought about something. Probably how I just went from nice to bitch in about two seconds but its whatever. "okay see you tomorrow Swan. thanks for letting me hang out with you instead of Jasper and Alice" he smirked while I nodded my head waiting for him to leave. I could've been nice and said something like 'anytime. really I had fun' with a polite smile but it wasn't worth lying. I did enjoy having him around but it was only a one time thing. I don't hang out with people regularly because that's when attachment happens and we shy away from that.

If any one else is wondering who the 'we' is that's me myself and I because at the end of the day that's all I really have.

And I'm just fine with that. really I am.

Lou don't touch! I'm downstairs real quick and ill brb. Ma and dad are at the hospital again.


	3. Ass

Ch 3.

Toss. Turn. Toss. Turn. Fuck this. I got out of bed and went to get myself a drink in the kitchen.

All the lights were on and it just succeeded in making me even more freaked out because even though I'm afraid of the dark, when your in the dark and cant see anything that means nothing can see you. But when your in the light it's a fucking free for all. The darks better but worse. It depends on how you look at it.

"get a grip swan" I spoke to myself. Yes its not the first time either.

I sat on the island in the kitchen and sipped my water. I looked up at the clock on the wall. It read three in the morning. I still haven't gone to sleep yet.

My body's exhausted but my mind will not shut down. It keeps thinking of my… I refuse to call them _friends_. Acquaintances is better.

Why does it feel so comfortable to be around them. Especially Edward. He's like no one I've ever met before. He makes me want to.. I don't know. _care_. Yeah, I know it sounds crazy to me too.

In one day he knows more about me than anyone. And he doesn't judge like they do. He knows stuff about me and wants to know more. I know that I cant be close to him. The only outcome of that would be hurt. And I cant allow myself to get hurt.

I know I have to stay away from him. I know that's the best thing. I know a whole lot about this situation but I don't want to accept it.

I'm not sure if its some sort of self defense mechanism but this time its not just for me. This time I don't want _them_ to get hurt. And I will end up hurting them. Its inevitable. I always hurt them. that's why they all leave.

I didn't want to think about this anymore so I went back upstairs and sat on my bed and instead of going to sleep like I wish I could I pulled out my notebook and made my list out.

** away from Mike Newton at all costs **

**2. Find Stanley's off switch.**

**3. Throat punch Tanya.**

**4. Get a kitten. And a kick ass name for said kitty.**

( what ? I don't want to be _that_ alone.)

** to find something to occupy my time in this lame ass place.**

**6. Stay away from Edward Cullen.**

**7. And last but not least get my self a fucking happy dance!**

After that I decided that since it was already four and there was no point in trying to sleep that I was just going to watch "The Three Stooges" until it was time to get ready for school. I loved these guys. They crack me up with their crazy ideas and weird noises. They would keep me occupied.

By the time my alarm clock went off my cheeks hurt from laughing so hard. I turned the TV off and went to take a shower.

In the bathroom I stopped in front of the mirror and debated whether I wanted to crawl back into bed or if I should go to school because I looked like shit with a capital S.

My eyes had dark circles under them and my skin looked sickly pale. I didn't want to miss school on my second day however so I toughened up and got into the shower.

After getting dressed in my black and white "Set Your Goals" band sweatshirt and skinny jeans. I put on my black and white converse and decided makeup wasn't needed but my sunglasses sure were.

When I looked in the fridge for breakfast ideas and realized I haven't ate anything since that chocolate bar at grams I wondered what the fuck was going on with the world when _I_ forget to eat.

I decided I needed to eat more than I needed to be in school on time because breakfast's the most important meal of the day and all that healthy shit. Really I was just extremely hungry.

And I can cook breakfast like nobody's business. Anything else and I'm guaranteed to fuck it up and burn a house down but breakfast is my forte.

I made myself scrambled eggs with cheese and bacon and a side of pancakes and toast.

By the time I was done eating I knew school was well into there second class. History wasn't my favorite class so I'd wait for it to be over and then go to Spanish.

I pulled into the lot with ten minutes before Spanish and went to my locker to get my notebook.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out to check who it was texting me.

**Where you at? -E**

I decided not to answer because I didn't want to have to explain everything. He'd see me at lunch. I took my glasses off and put them in my bag because I would definitely be needing them later. I felt like a goddamn vampire the brightness outside bothered me so much today.

The bell rang a few minutes later and I walked to Spanish. Now, it was time to think smart again. Operation avoid Stanley is in motion. I slowed my walk to avoid going into class to early and have her sit next to me again. When I got there only one seat left and it was away from her.

Why yes, I am a genius. I thought in my head while silently chuckling. It earned me a few stares but I would face down a whole fucking swarm of stares before I sat next to her and subjected myself to that torture again.

I breathed a sigh of relief and sank bank in my chair because at least this class wouldn't suck as bad as yesterday.

I pulled my list out of my bag where I tucked it earlier and read it over. I would worry about finding her off switch later.

I absentmindedly doodled on my list for the rest of class hoping for the bell to ring so I could haul ass out of here and avoid Stanley once again.

When the bell rang and I was a safe distance away from Jessica I slowed my walk again and tried to remember what class was next. Fuck. Biology with Edward. Oh joy.

I got to class and sat at our lab table half hoping he was absent but then knew he couldn't be if he was looking for me earlier.

A few minutes later he came in and smiled when he saw me. I smiled back but it didn't reach my eyes. My adrenaline rush from last class was fading fast and I was beginning to feel the sleepless night. My eyelids were droopy, I could feel it.

Edwards smile wavered as he got closer and he looked concerned.

"you feeling alright Swan?" he whispered when he sat down because Banner started talking about what this class would entail.

" as alright as someone who is running on no sleep can Cullen" I answered a bit harsh but what the fuck? I have a right to be cranky. "sorry" I guess not. My mouth seemed to be working on its own apparently.

"its okay. You just look really tired." I rolled my eyes at his comment because I already knew this.

"thanks for the boost of confidence" I snorted. I turned back to my list/art and as I started outlining the drawing I started last class something hit me on the side of the head. I looked at the offending object and it was a _note_. What the fuck? I opened it up and felt extremely stupid doing so because I was trying to be quiet but the goddamn thing was making way to much noise so I gave up on trying to be quiet and just ripped it open. I looked down and tried to decipher the chicken scratch on the note but couldn't figure out what the fuck it said.

"Cullen what the fuck does this say" I jammed the note in his face because it was effectively pissing me off.

"umm.. Hey Bella, you. Me. Date Friday night? Newton." he said calmly reading it over. "wait , what the fuck?" now he was just as confused as me.

"oh god. Make it stop." I groaned dropping my head on the table. I didn't know what the fuck was wrong with the people at this school but I did not enjoy being around them. And I've been trying to make that crystal fucking clear but apparently I'm failing.

I looked over at Mike who was trying to be all fucking cute and what not but just looks stupid like the stupid boy he is.

He arched a stupid eyebrow in my stupid direction silently stupid asking a stupid fucking question. Yes, I am a young adult.

I'm pretty sure he's incompetent since the death glare I'm shooting in his direction isn't doing anything to get that look off his face because he just stupidly sits and waits.

I mouth a polite 'fuck no' to him and turn around facing front and pretend that I'm anywhere but here.

After a little while the bell rings and I pack all my stuff up and go to my locker. After I put my books away I make my way to the cafeteria and go straight to the fuckery where I'm supposed to buy my food. Once again I get the food I want and leave a five with a lady behind the counter. I'm most likely doing it wrong but I couldn't care less.

I make my way to the table I sat at yesterday and find Alice Jasper and Edward already sitting there.

"hey Bella where were you this morning" Alice asked as I was sitting down across from Edward.

"slept late" I said quickly and seen Edward giving me a look which I silence with one of my own. Yeah I lied. Sue me.

"oh um Tanya was looking for you by the way" she mumbled looking down at her tray.

"great" I groaned because this already awesome day just seems to be getting better and better. I wasn't hungry anymore and that just made my already sour mood hit rock fucking bottom because I love food and I don't even want to be around it right now. Shit was rough today.

"hey _Bella_" cringe. That voice makes me sick to my stomach.

I turned around to see Tanya walking up to our table with an ugly smile on her could-have-been pretty face. I say this because if she wasn't such a bitch she could be pretty. Emmett and Rosalie just got to the table and Emmett looks like he just wants to smile.

Rose looks pissed. Alice looks worried. Edward look interested. And jasper, well jasper looks at Alice.

"yes bitch" I answered because I was just done. Emmett snorted. He was amused.

" I just wanted to ask what trick you were using?" what the fuck was she talking about. "What the fuck are you talking about Tasha" I knew her fucking name, but I really didn't have a clue as to what she was fucking talking about. What trick?

"The trick your obviously using to get Edward to talk to you" Oh. That's what this was about.

I wanted to fucking laugh at her. So I did. a lot. I fucking laughed like she just told me the worlds greatest joke. She looked at me like I've gone insane. Which could be true.

"I'm not playing any tricks its called being real. You should try it sometime." I really couldn't believe we were having this conversation. Doesn't she have anything better to do. I rested my head on my arms and wished she would just go away.

"You think I'm going to believe that Edward Cullen is your friend just because you say your being real. Yeah right _Bella_" the way she said my name made me want to cause her harm. I had to be realistic about this though. Who was this petulant little girl to me. She has no idea who I am, so nothing she says is true.

"just go away. Your making a fool of yourself" I tried to diffuse the situation by ending it because I didn't want to have to hit her. Well I did. I really really wanted to hit her but that wasn't what should be done. I'm trying to be responsible about the situation but this fucker is making it pretty damn hard.

"go away. You want me to go away. Like everyone else did Bella?" the way she said that made it sound like she knew something. And just like that responsibility flew out the window.

Very calmly I twirled the ball of my lip ring. To any one it would look like I'm simply playing with it. Once it was off I took the whole thing out and put it in my pocket. Precautions people. Precautions.

" like your par-" and before she could finish her sentence my fist was connecting with her jaw. My brain just stopped working and my body took over. I was fucking livid. I couldn't have stopped if I wanted to. Which I didn't.

"you bitch!" she screamed and tried to grab my hair. What the fuck were we five? Who pulls hair. Now the whole cafeteria was looking and I moved away from her disgusting hands before she could grab me. I pulled my fist back and let go hitting her again. I wasn't hitting her hard enough to break bones and get me arrested, but just enough to get it through her head that I don't fuck around. I felt someone trying to pull me back.

I just swiveled out of there grasp and went back to her. I was ready to murder her. How dare she try to talk about my personal information in front of everybody. I was shaking with anger and my eyes prickled with angry tears. I held them back though because there was a better chance of hell freezing over then letting this fucking scum of the earth see me cry.

I was on top of her now and just kept trying to punch her I wanted to end her, reason was out the window at this point and I was like an animal trying to get to her face but she was holding her hands in front of her face. So I held her down and leaned in.

"if you _ever_ talk about my life again I can promise you wont be able to talk at all Tanya." I whispered in a scary calm voice that sounds ten times more dangerous than her fucking banshee yell. She nodded and I got up off her. I was tempted to spit on her but that's fucking low.

I went back over to my table to see everybody staring at me wide eyed. Emmett even looked kind of scared.

I took my slice of pizza off my plate and bit into it. I suddenly had an appetite. I knew I'd be getting called down to the principles office soon so I figured I should take my shit to go.

I took my lip ring out of my pocket and put it back on. It's a cute little stud. What? don't judge me.

I picked my bag up where it was sitting next to Cullen not looking at him. He probably thinks I'm fucking crazy now. It's whatever. I didn't wait for anyone to say anything to me. I walked out of that crazy fucking loony bin and drove home.

I was so tired that I almost welcomed the nightmares if it meant sleep. I got into my house and went upstairs to change into some sweatpants. I went back downstairs to get a glass of water and laid on the couch. Before I fell asleep I pulled my phone out and sent Alice a text.

**where do I buy a kitten? -B **

I didn't wait for a reply I put my phone on silent and dosed off almost instantly.

I opened my eyes quickly. I wasn't having a nightmare though. Something else woke me up.

I wiped the sleep from my eyes and wondered what made me sleep peacefully and what the fuck ruined it. I looked at the clock and it was just past five.

I heard knocking. Loud inpatient fucking knocking. Shit I hope that wasn't the cops. Would Tanya call the cops on me? I wouldn't put it past her. I decided to go look because if it was the cops I didn't want them breaking the door down. I tried to look through my peephole and got frustrated that I could fucking see anything.

"goddamn good for nothing piece of shit peephole" I mumbled because that's what I do.

"Bella open the door. I know your in there I see your car" Cullen? what the fuck does he want.

"Bella's not home right now" I tried to change my voice hoping he would fall for it but I knew he wouldn't. He had a brain. Maybe if it was Newton at my door I could've had him fooled.

Wait. Newton was never fucking finding out where I lived I thought.

"I'll pick the lock swan." he threatened. Why the fuck did Edward know how to pick a lock? I mean I had a reason to know but he didn't. Not that I knew of anyways.

"just go away Cullen I'm not in the mood" I grumbled hoping he would listen. I rested my head against the door trying to listen.

"I just want to make sure your okay Bella. please." I heard a thump on the other side of the door like he had his head against it to. And then a little louder than a whisper he begged "let me in."

He didn't know how badly those three little words affected me. He would never understand that they caused me physical pain. I wanted so badly to let him in but fear stopped me every time. Just the way he asked I knew we weren't talking about the door anymore.

"I.. can't" I whispered back trying to sound strong and sure but sounded completely pathetic. I wasn't sure if he heard me or not.

I waited a few minutes until I was sure he couldn't be standing there anymore and went to sit back on the couch.

I'm not going to admit that my eyes were wet because I was crying. I'm instead choosing to lie to myself. There must be something stuck in them. Yeah that's it.

I switched the TV on and tried to find something to poison my mind for a little until seven.

I must have been so into the crazy TV show I was watching about these crazy fuckers on the jersey shore and wondering why in the world someone would call themselves a Snookie that I didn't hear my lock rattling because about five minutes into the show Cullen sat down on my couch almost on my feet looking rather triumphant.

Ass.


	4. Moshes

What. The. Fuck? Did he really just break into my house? I looked at him like he was crazy, he just stared at me waiting. For what? I don't fucking know. He should be the one explaining himself right now, not me.

"Why didn't you let me in?" he finally asked after a very awkward silence.

"because I didn't want to" I replied like it was obvious. No reason to lie to him.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay." he stated as if that was a substantial reason for his crime. I had to laugh because this day was just all kinds of fucked up and if I didn't laugh I might die.

"I'm fine" I stated flatly because I didn't want to talk about this with him. I didn't want him to be here. I didn't want this to be happening at all. Maybe I should just quit school and be homeless. Yeah that seems like a much better situation than having to deal with all this shit.

I focused back on the fact that Cullen was sitting not two feet away from me talking about something I had no fucking clue about.

"and I don't know what happened but the next thing I know you lunged" he was babbling. It was annoying me.

"Cullen" I interrupted because it was either that or slap him. He stopped. "really I'm fine. Thanks for caring?" the last part sounded like a question because I wasn't sure what the fuck was appropriate to say at the moment.

"how's your hands?" he asked glancing down at my knuckles. I flexed them and winced. They were a little sore. Nothing too bad. Definitely worth it.

"there fine" I diverted my eyes to the TV because I knew he was going to try to talk about this.

"so are you going to pretend you didn't go beast mode on Tanya and walk away or…?" he tried guessing my logic, which was impossible.

"I was mad"

"yeah I got that."

"I don't really know what happened Cullen. One minute I was under control and the next minute I snapped." I tried explaining. I didn't really expect him to get it. I mean it's not like I could tell him the real reason why I hit her. Besides that she is the most disgusting excuse for a human being I've ever met. But I'm not bitter.

We just kind of sat there. Leaving plenty of things unsaid. Yes, it was awkward. He looked like he wanted to say more about today but thought otherwise.

He looked pretty uncomfortable. I felt a little bad because he did come all the way over here to make sure I was okay. Even though it was completely unnecessary it still was pretty fucking nice.

"want to watch The Three Stooges?" I asked because there really wasn't much else to say.

"umm… yeah sure." He sat back and got comfortable while I stretched my legs out over him and relaxed back into the couch.

It was just about seven when Edward went home and I headed up to the roof to watch the sunset. I got a pretty good sleep earlier so I knew I wasn't going to sleep much tonight. That was okay with me.

When I was done on the roof I went into the kitchen to find myself something to eat. I was absolutely starving. I went into the snack cabinet and got myself a Rice Crispy treat while I found a real meal to eat. I looked through the cupboards in search of something I could cook myself and decided on ordering some pizza.

I cleaned up the house while I waited for pizza and when it came I went back into the living room and played sodoku while I ate.

Today was actually rather boring at home. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook and my list from my bedside table and started working on this weeks issue of the comic book I draw the pictures for. I have to make money some how and since I'm pretty good at drawing and this job lets me work from home I can't complain.

I was lost in my drawing and didn't realize it was going on four in the morning until I went to get a glass of water and seen the goddamn number glowing on the microwave. Fuck. School in about three hours. Today will be interesting.

I looked at my list and chuckled to myself as I crossed off throat punching Tanya. That shit made my day.

I napped for about an hour before I woke up in a cold sweat from another nightmare. This one wasn't nearly as bad as they had been before so I wasn't to worried about it.

To say I didn't want to go to school today was the understatement of the century. I didn't want to have to go see Tanya's stupid face. I didn't want to have to reject Mike again. I didn't want to have to sew Stanley's lips shut but she's kind of leaving me with no other choice. And I definitely didn't want to go have a nice chat with the principle which is most likely going to happen. Today's going to be pretty rad. Note the heavy sarcasm.

I got into the shower and got dressed in my ripped up skinny jeans and a gray and blue flannel button up shirt with my gray vans. I decided that since I had so much time to get ready I would actually look appropriate for school and put some eyeliner and mascara on. What? I said look appropriate not go all out. Give me a break. I let my hair dry in its natural waves and ate some cereal. I grabbed my ipod and locked the doors on the way out.

I had a lot of thinking to do today which I wasn't fucking looking forward to. I pulled into the lot a few minutes later and took a pretty mandatory deep breathe to remain calm. This place just got me into a fucking frenzy of emotions that I choose not to deal with. I miss being numb. I guess that's what I get for letting emotions play a part in my life again.

I rubbed my face and gave myself another pep talk before getting out of the car and going into hell. I went into my first class when the bell rang and was scribbling random stuff down in my note book when I hear.. "Isabella Swan please report to the principle's office" I snorted at the whole cliché-ness of it all. And then wondered if that was even a word. I half expected the whole class to pitch in at the end and go "oooohhhh" but for once every lame person at this school didn't have anything to say.

After I gathered up my things and left I had to sit in the worlds most uncomfortable fucking chairs just to wait and talk to this guy. Didn't he just fucking call me down? Why do I need to wait.

I was fifteen minutes into thinking that he was just doing this waiting game to piss me off when he opened the door and called me in.

"please take a seat Isabella" ugh that name turned my stomach. I don't know what my mother was on when she named me that. Or after that for that matter. I was already done hearing his voice.

"lets make this quick. I have a class to be in." I stated crossing my arms and looking at him. He seemed surprised by my words but gained his composure back. He narrowed his eyes at me.

I narrowed my eyes back at him, and threw an eyebrow arch in for good measure.

The way I see it, is if you let people think they run you, well they will. But if you let them know right away that you don't deal with bullshit they don't give you any. Plain and fucking simple. Right?

Well with this guy not so much.

He was a talker. And by talker I mean talk my fucking ear off for about a half an hour about a bunch of shit I couldn't care less about and when he was done I was told that I have to apologize to Tanya to which I politely declined by saying "the day I apologize to her is the day they put me six feet under" then there was voice raising… Lots of voice raising.

But I had to be loud to get my point across.

When we were finished we came to a conclusion that I cant hit anyone else, I have detention for two weeks and I have to talk to a counselor. The last parts mandatory if I didn't want to get taken to court by Tanya. I guess the principle decided that after talking to me I had anger management issues and I could use that to my advantage. Win.

By the time I was out of there I was late for my second class and I had to apologize to Mr. Gregg. This is the most apologizing I have ever done in my whole life. It sucks. A lot.

I took my seat besides Jasper and he smiled up at me silently telling me hello. I smiled back at him and took my notebook out to start taking notes on what Mr. Gregg was saying.

After what felt like for-fucking-ever the bell finally rang and I just about crawled to Spanish trying to not sit next to Stanley again. I'm sure I have succeeded on getting on her bad side since I hit her friend.

I amazingly got to class before Stanley which was ridiculous because I tried being late. So I took my next option and sat in between two seats where she couldn't get anywhere near me.

I smiled to myself since I successfully averted "the mouth" as I pulled my books out and waited impatiently for 2:30 to come so I could leave.

That class was over soon enough and it was time for my favorite class of the day. Lunch. I got in the line first and thought about whether or not I should purchase my lunch the right way today. I decided not to. I have all year to learn. I'm too hungry for that shit today.

I carried my tray over to the table where I sat down and immediately started eating when I realized how fucking quiet the place was. I looked up after I finished swallowing my bite of pizza and groaned loudly when I seen every face in the place staring. Hardcore staring. I'm pretty sure my face almost melted off with the way they were all grilling me.

I almost laughed out loud at the sheer corniness of that joke but I couldn't risk anymore embarrassment. Then I thought about it. Like _really_ thought about it and came to the conclusion that I Isabella (gag) Swan did not give a fuck. I really didn't know why I was obsessing over what these pointless people thought of me. I never did before. So why the fuck start now?

I lifted my chin up a little higher. Sat a little straighter and puffed my chest out a little prouder and I ate my pizza and ignored every fucker in that place because they honestly didn't matter.

"Hey does anybody know a place I can buy a kitten?" I finished my pizza looked up at the faces around my table who were staring at me with a mixture of awe and adoration like I just fucking found the cure for cancer. I ignored the stares.

"yeah there's a local shelter down in Port Angeles that has tons to choose from" Alice was the one who answered. " I could go down there with you if you'd like. I'm not doing anything today" she offered.

"that'd be great" I answered truthfully I really wanted this kitten. Its going to be so boss. I'll think of names later.

I finished eating and continued to ignore all the looks and eventually forgot all about them. The next few periods past by quickly and Tanya wasn't even in school today which was a major plus.

Alice met me in the parking lot and after we dropped her car off at her monster house we were on our way to the animal shelter. The building wasn't terribly big but it wasn't little either. I hoped it wasn't to hard to pick one because all kittens are amazing. But I'm looking for a specific one.

There was some boy at the front desk who looked to be about our age. He wasn't bad looking either he just looked like he was on some type of steroids. He turned to talk to us and I got a full look at him and he was pretty fucking hot. He had to be at least six feet easily nice tan skin dark short hair and deep brown eyes. Wowza! I was not expecting that. I took a look at his beefed up arms and noticed he was tatted up, which was extra sexy if you ask me. Full sleeves and most likely more because they are addicting. I should know I have four and still want more.

I finally stopped eye fucking him enough to notice that he was doing the same to me. Alice coughing brought him out of whatever daze he was in.

"Hey, welcome to Port Angeles Animal Shelter was there anything you were looking for in particular today?" he questioned and you could tell he probably had to say that a whole lot.

I'm not going to tell the truth and say I was speechless because well fuck! that's just not me. So I very fucking casually answered him.

"I wanted to buy a kitten. Got any?" I acted nonchalant about the situation but this boy was doing things to me. And I'm not sure if I'm imagining things but Alice looks.. Worried.

Nahhhh that makes no sense.

"Sure thing." he smiled a perfect fucking smile. Pretty sure I smiled back like a goober but it's whatever. I will say that I checked his butt out as he led me and Alice through the doors leading to where they kept the kittens.

As soon as I stepped foot through the doors I was attacked by the on slaughter of cuteness. Now I am far from a girlie girl. Seriously. Cute things don't make me melt and I don't fucking squeal and jump up and down and never I repeat _never_ do I _ever_. Stomp. My. Foot. That shits not even a little bit cool.

But come _on _! kittens were my soft spot. Especially multiple kittens. Alice was in heaven too. We looked all around some cats weren't even in cages. I kind of wanted to let all of them out because I felt bad but the tatted beauty was standing there with us so I didn't want him to see me. Plus he would most likely have to be the ones to catch all of them and put them back. So I refrained. For now.

I was walking down the rows when I seen it. A little gray puff ball attacking a rolly toy. Then he got distracted by its tail and started flipping around trying to bite its own tail. I got a huge smile on my face. I went up to the cage to get a closer look. I could tell it was a him by the blue mat under him so he didn't fall through the cracks in the cage. Girls had pink. Typical.

He looked up at me and I fell in love. No joke. He was little with a little pink nose and little grayish blue eyes and like charcoal grayish fur with white . I knew right away I had to have him. I told the tatted beauty I found one and him and Alice came to look a which one I wanted.

"awe Bella he's so cute!" Alice was the first to speak.

I got to hold him while I paid for him. Kittens were more expensive than the older cats but I didn't care.

Tatted beauty who's named I learned was Jacob -Amazing what you can learn when you pay attention to name tags- gave me all the information and the kitten already had all its shots and stuff I would just need to stop at a store on the way home and buy other supplies. We were about to walk out the door when Jacob spoke again.

"so Bella is it?" he asked I looked at Alice and she walked out saying she'd meet me at the car. I walked back over to the desk and answered him.

"yes"

"is that short for something?" he smiled. Melt.

"yes" I laughed like I was going to tell him my full name. bleh.

"well Bella do you have a number?" he got nervous like he wasn't sure I would give it to him. I don't usually do this but things were going good so far and I thought why not?

I gave him my number and told him I had to go. I didn't want to keep Alice waiting. I got in the car and she asked what happened.

"he asked me for my number" I said with a smile sitting my new kitten in my lap before driving to the pet supply store.

"you think you'll go out with him?" she asked warily like it would be a bad thing.

"nope" I answered truthfully popping my mouth on the p.

"really? Why?" she asked skeptically. Why she wanted to know I'm not sure, maybe girls always talk like this. You know like about there feelings and shit.

"because that would be pretty foolish." she looked at me like I had three heads. "look Alice I know you and jasper are together and going great but that's not in the cards for me. I gave up on it because it doesn't exist. To me at least." I was trying to say this in the nicest way possible because she was in love. Well believed she was in love. I really hoped things go well for her and jasper to, there really great together. But that's like a one in a million thing.

"what doesn't exist for you Bella ? Love?" ugh there's that word again.

"yeah I don't exactly believe in it. I know its possible. For some people. But I don't think people know how to love anymore. they've soiled the meaning. Love doesn't exist anymore." I wanted to just say fuck love but she might take that a wee bit offensive considering she was in love and all.

"what happens if you ever fall in love one day? Then will you believe?" she asked like it was fucking possible or something.

And since I'm being nice I didn't say what I was thinking. Which was ' what happens if you see Santa one day? Then will you believe?' she was talking about love like it was real. Like as real as herpes and government population control.

"that wont happen" I answered 100% positive.

"how do you know?" I was getting a little tired of answering questions.

"because no one will ever get close enough to me for me to fall in love. I wont allow it." that shut her up quick.

We made good progress at the store today I bought a cat bed and if it was possible I would most definitely shrink down to size and sleep in that fucker myself it was _that_ comfortable. I got a litter box and a black cat collar that had a specialized name tag plate thing where I could engrave his name on. As soon as I figured out what it was I'd get that done. I also got a bunch of toys, cat food, and some cat nip because its necessary. Me and Alice passed the pet clothes and had so much fun making fun of people who put jackets on there animals like they'll get cold or some shit. They have fucking fur people. Really. Then a lady came in the isle with a dog wearing a sweater and we left that part of the store pretty quickly because its rude to laugh in people faces.

We were on our way back to the monster house when Alice asked if I wanted to hang out for a bit. I checked the time and it was only five so I'd stay for a while.

Everybody was in the living room or hangout room I guess you could call it since there was already a living room but they had a separate one that they actually used. Yeah I didn't get it either. Emmett held the kitten and it was fucking hilarious because it fit in the palm of his dinosaur hand.

I'm pretty sure the cat had A.D.D or some shit because it was off the wall. It was perfect. I knew this was the beginning of a wonderful friendship.

Edward loved him. Like _loved_. He couldn't stop laughing at the things the cat did. Me and him sat on the couch while everyone went and got something to eat because I wasn't hungry and didn't want to stop playing with the cat.

"have you picked out a name yet?" he asked scratching him behind the ears. You could tell he was getting tired because he was snuggling up to us. The _cat_. Was snuggling up to us.

"no I was waiting to see what I thought he was" I told him laughing when he yawned and curled up into an even smaller ball.

"he's pretty energetic" he rubbed his back softly as the kitten started falling asleep. I brilliant idea came to mind.

"Mosh Pit Warrior!" I whisper shouted trying not to wake him.

"what" Edward chuckled clearly shocked.

"moshes for short. Yep that's the perfect name." I was decided. "what do you think?" I ask turning to Edward and realized just how close he was. The green of his eyes got even greener close up. Like intense green. I was staring. I knew this. But I couldn't stop. He didn't look like he minded. Not one bit. He was looking right back at me. Not like checking me out or looking at my boobs. He was looking at _me. _In my eyes. I wanted to look away. I wanted to so fucking badly. But something about his stare wasn't letting me. It was like a spell or voodoo or some other unexplainable thing.

The fact that we were leaning in closer to each other wasn't lost on me either. Or that Cullen's lips were starting to fucking pucker. The door to the "hangout room" as Emmett dubbed it earlier crashed open because Emmett can do anything quietly- literally nothing at all- and I shot up like someone lit my ass on fire. I looked down at Cullen and tried to read his face but he seemed just as shocked and confused as me. I mentally thanked Emmett for being such a loud ass and decided it was time for me to leave. I said goodbye to everyone and hauled ass out of there.

On my way home I put moshes in the passenger seat because he was still asleep. But he kept waking up and snuggling into my lap. Most likely for warmth but I'm going to tell myself its because were best friends. Score. First best friend. Ever. That I'll actually keep.

I put on some soft music in the background to not wake up moshes and enjoyed the nice ride home. After I got home and watched the sunset I cooked dinner and then sat at the island in the kitchen and ate with my kitten on the counter next to me eating. Don't judge me. Were too cool for simple humane boundaries. After we ate I took a shower and got a surprise visit when moshes jumped in and then freaked out after getting wet. Then I did whatever homework I had for the week and then I schooled moshes in all things music. He's a boss cat and has to live up to his name. He moshes like its his job title. Just saying.

I never really knew how much kittens sleep before today. It was about a quarter past three when I was tired enough to fall asleep so I picked moshes up and carried him upstairs instead of waiting for him to do it himself. He's to little and it would've taken forever. Brushed my teeth and climbed into bed. He curled right up next to me and I had a feeling that the kickass bed I bought him was going to go to waste.

Before I forgot I pulled my list out and crossed off two things.

**get a kitten**

**Get a kickass name for said kitten.**

**check and check. Today was mighty successful were my last thoughts before I fell asleep snuggling with my kitten.**


	5. Fucking Cat

"Bellaaa?" a soft dreamy voice whispered into my ear.

"humph" a sleepy one answered

"Bellaaa?"

"that's my name don't wear it out"

More "Bellaaa" this time plus soft chuckling.

"stop fucking laughing in my ear Cullen. Christ!" I turned over without opening my eyes…

"Cullen?" I shot up and banged my head. "ouch! Shit ! Fuck!" what the fuck..

I grabbed my head where I banged it and seen Cullen's shadowy figure doing the same.

What is he doing here? I know this isn't a dream because I just fucking killed my forehead against his head. And I could still feel the pain. Even though Edward head of steal Cullen was now laughing his ass off.

"I'm changing my locks to something more complicated to pick." I said waiting for my eyes to adjust before realizing there's a light by my bed.

I flicked it on and tried not to hide from the brightness.

"what the fuck are you doing in my room at… four in the morning?" oh nice a half hour of sleep.

"I neeed a place to sssleep." was his brilliant fucking answer. Vague much.

"Edward are you okay?" because he was slurring his words and he looked pretty shit faced.

"wellll…I've had a little way too much to drink and let me tell you I just walked here!" he whisper shouted and looked around like we were little kids telling a fucking secret. I laughed at him.

"why didn't you go home?" I asked sitting up

"my dad and mom are home and they think I'm staying at Em's house tonight but him and Rose wanted to fuck around so I left them bitches behind!" he shouted for real this time pointing behind himself, showing me exactly where he left them.

"okay you can sleep here tonight if you shut the fuck up. I've got neighbors." I whispered realized that moshes was now awake looking between me and fucking Jessica the second over here like I was in some trouble for waking him up.

He smiled a heartbreaking smile and wrapped his arms around me .. For a fucking hug! I'm not to sure how this goes so I just wrap my arms around his frame and pull him to me more. It feels a little awkward but everything I do is so I just go with it. He rests his head on my shoulder and I feel him relax as he wraps his arms around me more tightly. And its not so hard ladies and gentleman. I'm giving someone a… a hug?

And not just any someone. I'm _hugging_ Cullen. Who smells incredible by the way. Just saying.

I began to wonder just exactly how fucking long its appropriate to hold somebody until you should let go since I'm new to this shit. Thankfully he sat up not too long after.

"do you have clothes?" I said moving to one side of the bed to make room for him. What? it's a bed and there's only one in this house. Unless he wants to sleep in moshes' bed.

"um… nope none at all. I'll just sleep naked." he got up and started taking his shirt off before unbuttoning his pants.

"whoa whoa whoa! Settle down there bud." I shot up and went to get him sweatpants from the drawer and then remembered I was in underwear.

"nice bum where ya from" he laughed and continued to take his pants off leaving him in only blue boxers.

"he Swan do I have a big-"

"CULLEN!" I interrupted laughing at him and turning away.

"what? I was gonna say calf muscle" he turned and admired his calf.

"mhm sure you were" I rolled my eyes "here put these on freak" I tossed him the sweatpants and he said he didn't want a shirt. I grabbed myself some pants as well because it would have been a little too weird not wearing any now.

We both climbed into bed with Cullen laughing like a little fucking girl the whole time and moshes had long ran out of the room by now.

"thanks for letting me be in your bed Swan." he yawned rolling over and holding me like a fucking married couple or some shit. I just rolled my eyes because he must be pretty fucking drunk right now. His defined muscular chest was way to close to not notice.

"thanks for saying I had a nice bum, ill remind you of it tomorrow" I chuckled through my yawn. We were face to face now and I can see he's dead serious when he says "oh I wont regret it tomorrow, don't worry." I swing my leg over and kick him in the shin and he just laughs it off.

"your beautiful Bella" he mumbles reaching his hand over and brushing some hair behind my ear.

"goodnight Edward" I close my eyes and try to not think about how bad I wanted to believe that. But then I remembered he was extremely drunk and he probably couldn't even fucking see straight.

"night" and I can hear his smile.

"DON'T!" I shot up looking around and remembered that it was just a dream. Nightmare. I looked at the alarm clock and it read five thirty.

I looked over at Cullen hoping I didn't wake him up with my insane banshee scream and he just grunted and relaxed again.

I hugged my knees to my chest and rested my chin on them. This was my safety position. I felt safe. I felt whole. I just fucking felt at peace. I feel like I can hold my shit together better in this position.

I also think best when I'm like this. And I'm sure that with the things on today's schedule there's going to be a lot of thinking involved.

The good things about today. Its Friday! Which means last day of school for the week. Which in turn means good fucking bye Forks high school. Well for two days at least. _and!_ Friday also means going to see Set Your Goals tonight with everybody. Fucking pumped!

Now the bad things about today are that I have so much shit to do I might explode before the fun stuff happens. I have to make it through school then go have my very first meeting with my brand new counselor. Fucking joy! Then I have to mail in my sketches for the comic book. After that the fun happens.

I got up and got in the shower loving the way my muscles immediately relax under the hot water. After I finished washing I almost slapped myself for forgetting all my shit in the bedroom since Cullen was in there. I peaked my head out of the doorway and seen that he was still asleep, so I tip toed across the room into my closet to find something to wear. I grabbed my black and white static zip up sweatshirt with black skinny jeans and a plain white tank top underneath. I threw those on so I could wake Edward up so he could get ready.

I got him some water because he's guaranteed to feel like shit today and a few aspirin. He better not get used to this treatment.

"Edward?" I whispered. Nothing.

"Edward?" a little louder.

"Swan?" a grunt. A. Sexy. Grunt.

"Get up. Time for school" I ran my fingers through his wild hair. So soft. And everywhere. How the fuck does his hair get this messed up. When I first met him it looked like he just got done fucking the shit out of someone but now I know it's naturally like that since we just woke up together. And nothing happened.

At least he's not one of those lame people who make there hair messy and big on purpose. Losers.

I guess he was a fan of his head being scratched because when I did it again he let out a soft tired moan. But a moan none the less. I heard it. With my own two ears.

It was by far the most sexiest noise I've ever heard. Or will here. Hands down.

"wake up Cullen" I shook him a little but kept my voice quiet still, his head is going to be bumping.

"why are you in my room swan" he swung his arm out and for someone who just woke up he had a lot of power since he swooped me down onto the bed and snuggled up against me, he picked his head up and immediately put it back down into the crease of my neck with a groan.

I squirmed. I admit it. But come _on_. Have you seen him?

"your in my room ass. Now get up and get dressed were going to be late. Here I got you some water and aspirin. Take it, you need it." He did as I said and then went into the bathroom to shower and get dressed. Once we were both cleaned, dressed, and fed we fed moshes gave him goodbye kisses and left for school.

Yeah that's right Edward kissed my kitty. Kitten. Jeeze get your mind out of the gutter.

We jammed out to Set Your Goals on our way to school to get in the zone for tonight's show. We pulled into the parking lot and met a worried Alice who calmed down when she seen Edward and then smiled a knowing smirk when she seen me with him. For what? Who knows.

"Edward Anthony Cullen! How dare you not tell anyone where you went. I've been worried sick since you didn't show up with Emmett and Rosalie." Alice whacked him in the arm and then hugged it all in one swift motion. She was still leaving me speechless.

"sorry Alice" was all Edward said and they were back to normal. Siblings were weird.

After jasper got there we all headed into our first classes and I don't know about anyone else but I was praying the day went by fast.

School to my big surprise was going by fast even lunch flew by. Tanya was here today but it was safe to assume she wasn't coming anywhere next to me. And since Tanya was back Jessica has barely said a word to me. Forks was getting better and better.

Throat punching that bitch was the best decision I ever made.

I started rethinking that statement on the way to the counselor. Or therapist whatever the fuck its called.

I sat in my car an additional five minutes than was necessary because I really was skeptical about this shit. I don't like showing my emotions I definitely don't want to talk about them with whoever this person is.

I finally got enough balls to get this shit over with and go in. I had to wait about ten minutes for Dr. Mitchell (doctor.. Give me a fucking break) scratch that I had to wait for this human Kleenex to be finished with another client before getting called in.

I sat down in the comfy chair and turned to him. He was about middle aged I guess. White hair interrupted the used to be brown bushy eyebrows over two kind brown eyes. I could see how some people might want to tell this dude their business he looks fucking nice to the extreme. But I wasn't fooled as easily. He wore a little sweater vest and sat in his chair behind a desk. Pad of paper and pen ready at any moment to write down something personal of mine at the drop of a dime. Yeah I was being judgmental but fuck you. I don't care.

"Hello Ms. Swan, or do you prefer Isabella."

"neither. Since were probably going to be seeing a lot of each other just call me Bella."

"well, Bella I see here that this is required of you to be here so I hope your not too put out with me already. I really hope to be friends when we're finished here. After I've helped you." you have got to be kidding. He read that off a little paper which means he knows too much already.

"well doc" I kicked my legs up and got comfortable. Might as well. "see the thing is, I have no friends and I don't need any help" I said as politely as I could. Which wasn't very polite.

"so your in denial." he stated like it wasn't fucking rude and started scribbling words down in his fucked up file of Isabella Swan.

"no"

"well we can work on that" I did just speak.

"so lets get right down to the point Bella. Why did you hit Tanya?" he looked up at me and waited.

"because I wanted to." fucking duh old man.

"well why did you want to"

"because she needed to be hit"

"why"

"because she's a fucking bitch that's why" what the fuck was with all these questions this isn't a goddamn interview.

"I would appreciate it very much if you refrained from using such profanity Bella you're to beautiful a girl to be saying stuff like that." I almost peed my pants laughing guys. Lets just keep it there.

"look doc, that's how I talk. Take it or leave it." I really want this to be over now.

He looked like he wanted to leave it but then he probably realized I wouldn't talk at all if he left it. Which was 100% correct. He was smart. Well he _is a doctor. Yeah I did snort out loud on that one. _

"_so back on subject Bella why do you not like Tanya?" fucking shoot me._

_And it went on like that for an hour. ._

_I went back to the house to feed moshes and meet Cullen. He was picking me up and bringing me to the monster house since I had no clue how to get there. I grabbed my sketches and went outside to wait for him. _

_Me and moshes were sitting on the front steps enjoying the view in my nice little neighborhood that I hadn't really noticed until now. There was a man next door working on his truck. _

_Well I think that's what it was. It looked like a fucking monster. He was bent over with his head under the hood yelling all kinds of swears. He seemed okay in my book. Moshes and me went over to see what he was saying. I actually had an ulterior motive, I wanted to be a nosey neighbor and see what kind of people I lived next to. Sue me._

"_for Christ sakes will you come out already" and then he flew back stumbling almost toppling over some car parts behind him he smiled at the part in his hand that he just successfully took out._

_I coughed to let him know I was there and he turned to me smiling. _

"_you the new neighbor?" he asked in his deep voice. He lazily grinned looking somewhat drunk. I nodded. "the names Bill" he shook my hand. He sipped his beer can sitting on the chair next to the truck motioning for me to sit in the other one. Something about him made me feel comfortable maybe because he's not like everybody else I met here so far. He wore a green camouflage army hat with a mechanic jumpsuit, he looked like the type of guy that maybe used to be uptight. Military man maybe. He had to be at least 50. With a stern face but friendliness showed through the old laugh lines around his mouth. He wore his hair in a short buzz cut and his white face was tanned from no doubt the many days he spent out of rainy ass Forks. He offered a beer to which I accepted. Bill told me about the neighborhood, the people in it, and, himself. He was a military man. Widowed with no kids. All alone in his big house. Just like me._

_He liked to talk a lot which was most likely a product of having no one around most of the time. He told me about his love for all things cars. He explained that he was a working man and didn't plan on stopping until he absolutely had to. He told me about all his old music that he listened to even though he wasn't that old. He loved the fifties. He also told me that he was going to teach me everything he knew about cars, I had a feeling I was going to be over here a lot. It was about half an hour since I had been there when I seen Cullen pull up to my house._

"_well Bill I got to get going. Thanks for the beer" I threw the empty bottle in the bin._

"_no problem. And call me Uncle Bill" he said with a wink "see ya later bells" he smiled waving. It felt like I was visiting an uncle when I was with him. The uncle I never had. I smiled waving back. He already had a nickname for me. _

_Moshes led the way back to the house checking everything out on the short path back. Cullen waited in the car and I brought Moshes inside and closed the door behind me. I didn't want anyone to see this. _

_I picked up moshes and said "I wuv yeww babeee" rubbing my nose up to his. " I'm going out tonight but you'll be fine. Okay I hid some snacks around the house for you to sniff out if your bored and you have plenty of food and water I'll come home early tomorrow I promise." and I kissed his little head and walked out before I could let those big green eyes convince me to stay. This had to happen. I needed to know he would be okay if I ever needed to leave him and I had to do it somehow. I just didn't know it would be this hard. I was walking down the stairs when I ran back up and looked through the window by the door. He was still just sitting there staring at the door. Waiting for me. I pouted because I didn't want to leave him. I opened the door again and crouched down in front of him. "go play babe, don't wait up for me" _

_He snuggled up to my feet and meowed like a happy kitten. This. Was. So. Hard. _

"_Come on Moshes, don't make this harder babe" I was almost begging. Maybe I should just stay home. No. I needed to go. If I didn't do this now I would never be able to. I snorted with a sick realization that I've become attached. I guess I knew it would happen but I forgot how it felt. Lets just say I wasn't a fan. _

"_can we just take him too?" Cullen pleaded from behind me. I turned around and seen him standing in the doorway looking like he was just as sad as Moshes._

"_no, I should be able to leave a fucking cat alone for one night" I was getting mad at myself. _

"_he's still really young Bella, I want to take him. Its my house so I say who comes or not." he was trying to make me feel like less of a pussy. It wasn't working. His acting sucks._

"_well if its okay with you then I guess he's coming." I caved going to pack him a bag. Fuck you he needs things to._

"_ill be in the car."_


End file.
